I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
