I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
this beer tastes like vomit already
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
