Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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