this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize