Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
