come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
