why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize