K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
