Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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