Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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