false alarm. still invincible.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
