i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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