My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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