Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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