He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
