he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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