I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So many bounce houses so little time
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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