Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
