Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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