She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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