this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
