He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
