I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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