Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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