I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
