yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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