Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
