why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
