a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
