how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Holy sore nipples Batman
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
