don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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