This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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