he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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