So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize