in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
