my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
