hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
