belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
