I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This toilet bowl is my home.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
