i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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