Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I need help removing her.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You're like the curious george of whores
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
