My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize