bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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