We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
