Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize