ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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