You're my little dorito
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
