home. puking in laundry basket.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
