i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
