i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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