So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
