Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
