so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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