So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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