it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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