im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Congratulations! We have a period
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