Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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