Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
