Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
