i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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