I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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